What do you do when the addict won't admit the problem?

It can be challenging to help someone who refuses to acknowledge their gambling addiction. As a next of kin, you may feel powerless, but there are important steps you can take to support both yourself and the person struggling with addiction.

Concrete advice we hope can ease your everyday life as a next of kin

Be patient

Denying the problem is a common defense mechanism for gambling addiction. It can take time before the person is ready to recognize the addiction and seek help. Be patient but clear about how gambling affects both them and others.

Set limits

Set clear boundaries for what you are willing to accept and be consistent in maintaining those boundaries.

Have open conversations without pressure

Try to talk about gambling addiction without putting the person on the defensive. Use "I" statements, such as "I'm worried about you" instead of "You have a problem". This strategy will increase the chance of being able to have an open and honest conversation about the problem.

Use resources and tools for next of kins

There are resources available to support you as a caregiver. We and others offer self-help groups and counseling sessions for guidance and information on how to deal with the situation and navigate through the challenges you face.

Don't take the blame

As a caregiver, it's easy to feel guilty that the situation has developed the way it has, but it's not your fault. It's important to recognize that you can't control the actions of others. Focus on what you can do to take care of yourself.

Avoid saving the person from the consequences

While it may be tempting to help by, for example, covering up a financial loss or protecting the person from the consequences of their gambling, this can make it harder for them to see the seriousness of the situation. Allow them to experience the natural consequences of their actions, while supporting them emotionally. In this way, you also avoid becoming codependent.

Don't give up

It can feel hopeless when the person you care about won't admit to their gambling addiction, but many eventually come to a realization. Your support, combined with patience and the right resources, can make a difference.