Discovering that a loved one is struggling with gambling addiction can be heartbreaking. For many caregivers, it starts with small signs that gradually develop into major concerns. One mother shares her story of how her child's addiction has affected both her family and her own emotional health.

The first concerns
As a school student with a part-time job, the child's salary disappeared faster than expected. "The salary kept disappearing for no apparent reason," says the mother. The real problem came when the bank started sending payment demands for overdrawn accounts. "That's when I started to worry," she says.
Many relatives experience this as the first sign - the money disappears without explanation and financial problems become apparent. For the mother, this was the start of a longer struggle.
The shame and frustration
One of the biggest burdens for her has been the feeling of having failed as a parent. "I always had a nagging feeling that I had failed in my role as a parent, especially in terms of financial advice and guidance," she says. Her child talked as little as possible about her gambling, and when it did come up, it was only to ask for help there and then.
"Yet the gaming continued as before," she explains. This created a pattern of arguments, frustration and a gradual withdrawal from the child. "When it became known that they had lost a lot of money or unpaid bills appeared, I felt the grief," she says. It became a situation where everyone felt like losers.
The difficult balance
For many caregivers, it's challenging to know how to help without reinforcing the addiction. "I haven't been able to avoid helping the player financially," she admits. Even though she knew it might not be the best thing for the child, it felt easier to give money for food and shelter than to say no.
"I've done it a lot, but with a guilty conscience that I've prioritized my feelings over their best interests," she says. The fear that rejection could lead to disastrous consequences, such as losing her child, was a constant burden. "There is no worse feeling to bear," she adds.
Support from others in the same situation
A crucial factor in her own healing was seeking support from others in similar situations. "My salvation was to talk to others in the same situation and experience that I wasn't alone in my difficulties," she says. This contact helped her gain some distance from her child's addiction, which also improved communication between them.
Through conversations with other relatives, she found the strength to let the child take more responsibility for solutions. "Talking to others has also given me the strength to support the player in a better way to find solutions on their own," she explains.
Finding the balance
To safeguard her own wellbeing, she has learned to avoid nagging and arguing, which has made it easier to talk about her gaming. "By eliminating nagging and loud arguments, the topic has become easier to talk about," she says. This distance has also given her peace of mind and made it possible to find solutions that work for both parties.
"The distance has also made it easier to find solutions that have been the best for everyone," she adds.
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