
When a family is affected by gambling addiction, it affects everyone, including the children. It's important to give children the right age-appropriate information to help them understand and cope with the situation. Through open and honest conversations, adults can help children express their thoughts and feelings.
"A meaningful conversation often only lasts a few minutes."
Conversation with the youngest children (2-6 years)
Young children often sense the mood in the home and interpret it to the best of their ability. When a family is affected by gambling addiction, the child will notice. It is therefore important to talk to them in a way that makes sense for their age. Conversations with young children should be about concrete things the child can see.
Here are some examples:
- Help your child put what they see into words. For example, you could say: "I see that you've noticed that we've been arguing more at home lately. It's not always easy for us adults either."
- Use past experiences - Remind the child of similar situations to create understanding, like: "Remember when you lost your teddy bear? You were very sad then. Sometimes adults feel very sad too."
A concrete tool you can use when talking to your little ones is to read picture books together. Picture books about emotions and mental health adapted to the child's age can create space for you and your child to establish good habits in talking about thoughts and feelings.
Conversation with older children (7-12 years)
Children at this age start to understand more complex topics and may have started to worry about the family situation and finances. For example, some children may take on responsibility by starting to save, or stop asking about weekly wages etc. Over time, this can lead to an increased level of anxiety in the child, and it can be crucial for the child to talk to an adult.
When talking to children in this age group, it's important to listen well and ask questions that help them share their thoughts.
Here are some examples:
- Can you tell me what you know about gambling/gaming?
- Is there anything you're wondering about what we've talked about?
- Have you ever felt like you've lost control of what you've been doing?
A concrete tip we can give in conversation with these children is that many children talk best when they are doing other things at the same time. Feel free to invite your child to help you make dinner, spend an extra 15 minutes at the edge of the bed at bedtime or have a chat when you're on your way to the store. Familiarize yourself with the setting in which your child speaks best, as this can give you valuable insights into their thought processes.
Conversation with young people (13-18 years)
Adolescents also need the open and honest conversation, but these children often need more detailed information. The conversations can often include information related to research and legislation. For example, a young person may be very concerned about the financial consequences and how legislation affects the family's ability to get help.
Some young people may be concerned about whether the disorder is contagious, and many quickly Google genetics, inheritance and vulnerability. That's why it's important for adults to invite conversations about the problem and listen to what young people are concerned about. Often, they can worry about completely different things than us adults.
Examples of questions you can ask:
- Have you heard of gambling addiction before?
- What do you think about what happens at home?
- Have you ever experienced the feeling of losing control?
- Is there anything you'd like to know more about?
- What can I do for you?
Something to be aware of is that young people can sometimes reject adults when they bring up the issue. The key is to be patient and try again at regular intervals. For some, it may be appropriate to talk to someone other than the adults closest to them. In that case, you can help the young person get in touch with the school counselor, outdoor contacts, youth club leaders or other adults the young person trusts.
General tips when talking to children
- Listen more than you talk.
- Let the child steer the conversation with their thoughts and feelings.
- Sometimes the child doesn't want to talk, so you try again at a later date.
- Give your child care through an affirming smile, a friendly pat on the back or a hug. This can provide the reassurance your child needs.
- Ask open questions.
- End the conversation when the child shows signs of wanting to end.
Signs that your child is having a hard time
Being a relative of a gambling addict can be difficult, and it's especially challenging when the relative is a child. For some children, it can be a huge burden and they therefore need help from the adults around them.
Here are some signs that may indicate that your child is struggling:
- Somatic complaints such as abdominal pain or headaches.
- Changed behavior - acting out or withdrawn/quiet.
- Spend more time at home or alone.
- Pulling away from friends and social activities.
- Changes in sleep habits - sleeping more than before or having trouble getting to sleep.
Do you have any questions or want to talk?
Feel free to contact us on the Helpline, via email or the contact form.