For many caregivers, discovering that a loved one is struggling with gambling addiction can be like watching a nightmare unfold right before their eyes. One mother shared her story of how her son's addiction turned her life upside down - a struggle that many can relate to.
The signs came early
"He was only 15 when we discovered it," she says. "His whole body language changed. He became more angry and aggressive, and spent an enormous amount of time in front of the computer screen." The first warning sign came when her son started borrowing money to finance his gaming. When he wasn't able to pay it back, the financial problems were compounded.
For many caregivers, it's these changes in behavior that provide the first clues that something is wrong. Many feel that something is wrong long before the person admits the problem, just like this mother.
The ripple effects of gambling addiction
"His addiction has had a huge ripple effect throughout the family," she explains. Trust was gradually broken down, and the household finances were severely affected. "Not to mention all the worry we had about how things would turn out in the future."
One of the hardest parts was dealing with the shame. Her son was often in the media because of his addiction, which made her isolate herself. "I couldn't go out in public," she says honestly.
The challenges as a caregiver
Being a relative of a gambling addict is a struggle in itself. "I've felt consumed by thoughts and anxiety. 'What will happen next?" she says. In the end, she hit a wall and had to seek help for herself.
"I've had a number of conversations with Lill-Tove and tried volunteering, but I had to realize that I had enough with myself and everyday life," she says. For her, an important milestone has been to accept that her gambling addiction is not hers to bear. With professional help, she has gained the tools to deal with her own feelings and thoughts.
Supportive strategies
As well as getting professional help, she has had to find her own ways to support her son. "I've had to stand firm in my parental role and put aside the constant nagging about his gaming," she says. Maintaining a certain geographical distance has helped her find balance in her daily life and energize the rest of the family.
She recommends caregiver groups as a valuable resource: "Even though the player may not be attending a group, we as caregivers have benefited greatly from talking to others in the same situation."
Taking care of yourself
Over time, she has learned to put her own needs in focus. "Over time, I've perhaps become a little more selfish with how I use my energy, which benefits my loved ones," she says. Although her gambling addiction has been a part of their lives since 2006, she now feels that things are going better.
"I really don't want anyone to go through what we went through," she says. Yet she knows that many others experience the same reality - every day.
Do you have any questions or want to talk?
Feel free to contact us on the Helpline, via email or the contact form.
